My name's Wiley and this is the true story of how Grampa and I battled a carton of rancid eggnog that bubbled to life and flooded Gingham County with rivers of milky, shape-shifting goo. You'll shake like a bowl full of jelly when the eggy menace morphs into Merle. Your insides will curdle when you meet dreaded the fruitcake monster. And when Santa's second cousin, Roberto Claus, unleashes his army of eerie elves you'll...

AAAAAAH!